If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Please tell me you haven’t left campus yet!!!! I forgot my Hitachi and will not survive Thanksgiving without a steady supply of orgasms
Randomize
