Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
How did I end up with the cock ring?!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
