im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
