she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
