..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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