I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
Randomize
