The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
Randomize
