Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
