it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
