You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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