The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize