I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
