Moan for me like Helen Keller
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
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