Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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