I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
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