May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
Randomize
