Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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