this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
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