I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
This is the high leading the old right now
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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