He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
