you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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