How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Randomize
