i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
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