just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
so my phone autocorrects 'retard' to 'retaaahd'. i LOVE being a masshole!
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Dear female. Happy valentines day. If you have not had the pleasure of making love to me, please do not fret, I will get around to it soon enough. If you indeed have made love to me, then bravo, wasn't that grand! Perhaps we should do it again? Regardless, have a good day. This has been a public service announcement. Rock on.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
In the pie chart of my life, she is a huge part of why I drink.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Randomize
