no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
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