We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Randomize
