You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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