Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
