Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
