So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
whose ass print is on the piano?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
