so explain again why im purple
no
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
