Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
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