What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
She gave me a handjob at the dinner table while her dad was carving the turkey. I made eye contact with him. Im pretty sure he knew.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
