Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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