i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I can't let him end my perfect streak. HE USED TO BE FAT
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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