I just broke up with Liz. I feel awful so I put two free rentals on her Blockbuster account.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
