I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Randomize
