whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
