ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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