You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
