I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Randomize
