If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
Hurricane my ass. I'm riding a god damn kayak down the flooded highway if it's the last god damn thing I do, god damnit.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
