I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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