Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
The guy in front of me in line at Starbucks looks kinda like Danica Patrick except he has a huge boner.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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