I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Randomize
