Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
too bad you live with your parents still
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
