How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize