Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
If its vodka, everyone is attractive. Tequila, everyone is dead sexy, single and fuckable.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
