I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
We're too hungover to prance.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
