Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
