just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Randomize
