hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
