I can tuck mytits in my pants
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Randomize
