White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
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