Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
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