She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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