Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I am naked and annoyed.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
