I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Are we still banned from the library?
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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