Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I woke up to find a bottle of Bacardi in my shower rack. How was your night?
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
