Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize